Before we get rolling here, I’d like ask you some questions; and here they are:
Why are you trying to get sober? I mean, getting sober and staying sober is very difficult. What is your payoff? What are you trying to achieve?
Answers that I have received have included happiness, peace of mind, serenity, a better life, to make up for lost opportunities, and to ‘fulfill my potential’. How about you? What’s your answer? Hang on to it; it’s important and I’m going ask you about it later.
I’ll tell you my early goal in recovery. It was this ‘stop the chaos, just stop, everything just stop’. I didn’t ask for happiness or joy. I knew that was beyond my reach. But man, just to have everything stop, that would be great.
Two Views Of The World:
You might not agree, but hear me out on this. For the sake of discussion, I want to look at two diametrically opposite points of view, two different world views, if you will:
1. The first is that we are operating from a position of fear. We’re afraid of any number of things which will discuss later.
2. The second is that we’re operating from a position of safety. I don’t think it is a far stretch to think of safety as the opposite of being fearful.
OK, just go along with me on this, as we are trying to keep this simple. I asked a number different people in various stages of addiction recovery, to generate a list of feelings, attitudes, and negative consequences that occurred while being active in their addiction. We came up with the following list which is by no means complete. You may some see some things that will strike a chord in you and you will be able to identify with.
|
isolation |
financial consequences |
|
guilt |
legal issues |
|
shame |
abandonment |
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anger and rage |
loss of morality |
|
cheating |
poor health |
|
job loss |
dishonesty |
|
losing interest in life |
divorce |
|
bad teeth |
scared of being found out |
|
loneliness |
paranoia |
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the shakes |
trips to the hospital |
|
jealousy |
falling down and getting hurt |
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memory problems |
put kids in danger |
|
being sneaky |
DUI/DWI |
|
became a thief |
getting beat up |
Now the question is, after looking at that list, would you say that having that stuff going on in your life is operating from a position of fear or from a position of safety? Well Duhhh…
OK, what’s the point you may ask? The point is this, how could we possibly be thinking that we’re going to improve our life, achieve happiness, peace and serenity, by taking drugs and alcohol and having all that stuff going on in our lives? It just doesn’t make any sense.
We go back to the core reason why we took drugs and alcohol in the first place. Was it to feel good, have more fun, be prettier, or be more handsome? Instead of wish fulfillment, it gave us consequences like those in the list above.
You absolutely cannot get to a state of happiness, peace and serenity, operating from a position of fear.
One of the first challenges in getting help for yourself or a loved one, is knowing where to start. We can help with a free assessment and someone to talk with right now. Click Here For Immediate Help And AnswersLast 3 posts in Addiction Treatment
- About - December 31st, 2008
- Addiction Treatment: Is Spirituality A Vital Part Of Drug Abuse And Alcoholism Treatment? - January 4th, 2009
- Drug Addiction Treatment: Is It Time? - January 8th, 2009
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Hmm that was weird, my comment got eaten. Anyway I wanted to say that it’s nice to know that someone else also mentioned this as I had trouble finding the same info elsewhere. This was the first place that told me the answer. Thanks.
Wow, this was a truly quality post. In theory I’d like to write like this too – taking time and real effort to make a great post… but what can I say… I procrastinate alot and in no way seem to get something done.