Drug Addiction And Alcoholism: You Can’t ‘Make’ Anybody Stop Using

It is impossible for someone to stop using drugs or alcohol, and get clean and sober against their will, until they are ready to do so.

From their family’s point of view, this is a very difficult thing to accept. The often equate continuation of drug or alcohol use with a lack of love. For instance, they say to the addict, ‘If you loved me you would stop”. The addict doesn’t stop; so the only conclusion to be drawn is that the addict no longer loves the family. This is a misconception. The reality is the love is still there, but the obsession and compulsion which are integral parts of addiction I become so strong they will overrule emotions, logical thinking ability, and common sense.

From the addicted person’s point of view hearing, the message hundreds of times that they need to stop drinking and drugging will simply cause them to shut that person out and listen to nothing at all. One reason addicts become isolated is that they simply do not want to hear what they know is true, that they need to stop drinking and drugging, it is killing them. They attempt to shut out the world except for sources of drug and alcohol supply.

Unfortunately, there seem to be two ways that an addict becomes receptive to help. The first is that a tragedy this up close and personal occurs. It is like a slap in the face that gets their attention. They lose a job, a spouse walks out, they become injured or shot. The second way that some addicts become open to receiving help is they simply get ‘sick and tired of being sick and tired’ this happens very slowly over time, it usually takes years. Neither scenario is pleasant to consider for either the addict or the family, but it is reality.

Family members usually believe they have a duty to save their loved one. The reality has no one can say an addicted person except that person. Recovery is an inside out job. At a certain point family members have to let go, and detach with love. If they become too involved, they can actually become an enabling factor in the continuation of the drug use. There is a saying that family members can ’love them to death’.

If you have a loved one or friend who is actively involved in drugs or alcohol in his refusing to acknowledge their problem or get help, if you think you might be too involved we recommend you getting help for your situation. Seek counseling. There support groups that are designed to provide information and social support for families of people involved in alcoholism and addiction. We recommend Al Anon and Nar Anon. if your loved one will accept help, get help for yourself.

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